Monday, May 4, 2009

Off the wagon, onto Hot Arms not feeling hot on her birthday

Fell off the hotarmaczing wagon. Triceps shrinking. Batwings building. Not good.

P and I had just finished sparring last week when we started chatting with Hot Arms and our friend M. This Friday, at P's and my urging, Hot Arms and M are going to spar and then we are all going to go out for brunch to celebrate Gold Belts, sparring and birthdays - P's and Hot Arms'.

Hot Arms' husband is off to India and she's happy he's gone. She is not into her marriage at all.

It was her birthday and us she was depressed about her new age (her late 30's, I think). Hot Arms was impressed that B, a woman with slightly-less-than-Hot-Arms-hot arms but nevertheless impressively hot arms, had just turned 51. Yes, B looks great. So then, I informed Hot Arms she looked great too, what with her well-toned arms and all. (I note that P totally avoided eye contact with me during this repartee with Hot Arms). Hot Arms said she did not think she looked hot; she felt very un-hot.

I remarked that her physique was appealing. I told her any man would find her attractive. She smiled her pretty, perfect smile and tossed her pretty, sweat-damp hair. She poo-pooed me but was pleased. M and P agreed. Yes, any man at all. She didn't need her husband. Oooh. She giggled giddily. But then the coup-de-grace. Naughtily, I informed Hot Arms if she decided to cross the fence and try girls, she would do even better. Hot Arms again stroked her hair, replying as she hastily exited, "That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day. Thanks!" O poor girl.

So, having reminded Hot Arms of her hotness, I must again begin to reclaim mine. (Not that I am or ever was hot. I've always relied more on being interesting and funny rather than cute much less hot. At least my sweetie thinks I'm cute!) It cannot hurt to try to be hot, if only for health reasons and to avoid batwings. And for my sweetie.

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