We (or at least I) have returned

It has been a year and a half since I blogged here. P'ster and I were discussing this blog the other day and decided we should resume this blog because so many things have happened at the dojo and our time at the dojo is finite. I plan to quit after my black belt test and p'ster plans to quit after she gets hers. And Hot Arms is still there and she is still hot and her arms are hot. And she's still intense and seems to still hate her husband.

The Shihan has been charged with having sex with teenagers and the dojo is now owned by his wife and the African-American sensei. A smarmy guy is the new manager. He's as pompous as the Shihan but much less talented in martial arts. He is a white belt and tells everyone how to do everything. He's fat, he shouts and he talks constantly about how in shape he was 25 years ago. He's very loud. My ick factor is very high around him.

Hot Arms is moving further away. She'll be 30 minutes away from the dojo because she is buying a new house with the husband she hates. The girl is crazy. She will only be able to go to the dojo 2 days a week and may need to take a break from working toward her own black belt. She's sad.

The Shihan was arrested twice in the late winter for molesting / having sex with teenage girls. He's not supposed to be at the dojo. I've seen him too much. He's subdued but simmering. I expect he will take the case to trial. He is a creep.

I hope P'ster writes too. Our lives are different and diverging but we love to write and we love kickboxing. And we still think Hot Arms is hot in her own intense way.

Shihan digs chicks including...

Poor Hot Arms missed a lot of classes this fall. Her old back injury resurfaced but as soon as she had medical clearance, there was Hot Arms punching and crunching, back brace and all.

This post is not about old Hot Arms but is instead about my friend, one p'ster.

This past September in yet another skirmish in my decades old war against fat, I embarked on a "boot camp" at the dojo which meant that I paid $99 for the privilege of taking 10 classes (which I could do anyway) and getting 3 one-on-one sessions with Shihan or Mrs Shihan. This was meant to jump start my new diet. After the boot-camp week, I could get a promotion. So, I scheduled 3 sessions of mitt work with Shihan. (He holds mitts; I hit or kick them and he critiques my technique. Ok.)

In my experience, one of men's favorite topics to talk about with me is women. Happens all the time. Dudes dig talking about chicks with a girl who's into chicks. Ugh!

On my second one-on-on with Shihan, he observed that p'ster and I were becoming close. Here I went into an internal panic pondering what he could be implying. I am as married as I am legally allowed and p'ster was in a relationship. And I was raised Catholic and didn't he know the idea of cheating even if I would ever cheat (not that I would; it would wreck my psyche forever!) sends me into a vortex of guilt at the mere thought, a la Jimmy Carter's lust-in-the heart type sinning. I understood where the man, Jimmy Carter that is, was coming from!

(At the first one-on-one session, Shihan and I just talked about chicks.)

After his not-so astute observation about p'ster and me, Shihan asked me if I thought p'ster was pretty. Talk about rock and hard places! Well, she is. Pretty, that p'ster. But I was not sure where this line of inquiry was going. After a very deliberate pregnant pause, I answered simply, "Yes."

"So do I," he rapidly admitted.

Then, he began to wax rhapsodic and poetic and all that dreck about p'ster. She has finesse. She is graceful. She is fast. She has is thoughtful. She is refined. She is European. (No, she's not! Her parents were!) And I, in juxtaposition, am a "bull in a china shop." Ow! Good thing my ego isn't fragile.

As I punched the mitts and listened to this nonsense, I realized poor p'ster had been catapaulted into the "select" few favored by Shihan. P'ster was now in Hot Arms' vicinity in his realm.

Eventually, the one-on-one with Shihan plus p'ster ended. He mentioned her again at the next-on-one session; but not so blatantly. He merely managed to work a mention of her into our conversations every 5 minutes rather than the entire time.

When I told p'ster about Shihan's lust, p'ster was blown away in disbelief. She had been laughing about his lust for Hot Arms too. Now, here was she now a lustful focal point herself.

This call was borne out when p'ster had to be away from the dojo for over a week. Upon her return, Shihan went out of his way to note that he missed her and that she was very welcome back into the fold. Prodigal daughter or no.

Other times, he asks after her and solicits her feelings after an absence. Oddly amusing but not to p'ster or me. Kinda creepy. I expect that Shihan's attention to her is burdensome and annoying to p'ster. So, poor girl. I am not envious. I am glad to be the "bull in the china shop" or the fat girl in the dojo. It's much easier.

Oh, and p'ster revealed that Shihan is such a guy. Ie: a "walking penis." Gotta love the girl

Women warriors

I sparred Hot Arms today. She's fast, she's good but she's a newbie. And an uber-perfectionist. She was beating herself up for not being better than she is. This was her third time sparring. She is intense.

She does look fetchingly sexy when she sweats, spars, removes her headgear. She could have anyone she wants. I guess she's not ready yet for extra-marital activities (of course not with me. I'm married and besides, she seems to have a thing for p'ster). I came home and did 50 chair dips. She inspires.

On another issue: p'ster kicked and pummeled me mightily after I kicked her in the nose. We were sparring and it was implicitly consensual. "A wake up call", p'ster said with ice cold fury. Her dark eyes dilated black. Her face blazed amazon ferocity. She was primal anger pounding my face and my head and my ribs. She mesmerized me and I froze. I understood fundamentally, she craved vengeance and I was compelled to acquiesce.

Shortly after this, the boy sparrers separated us. It's always good to work with different people and frequently, necessary.

After class, p'ster confessed she was very pissed off. She has a lot fire of deep within. An epiphany for her. Calling upon it as needed and controlling it is challenging; but oh, the strength and power she will wield! Go p'ster. Uzz!